Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...