- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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