How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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