Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...