Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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