What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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