Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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