What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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