A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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