Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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