Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...