What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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