i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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Knock Knock.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops