Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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NEVER

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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