What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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Austin do your class work. Quit looking at anti-jokes. Yes you the one that goes to RRHS.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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