Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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Corn Muffins

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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