Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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