An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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