Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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bangers and mash?

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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