Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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