How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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A cat playing laser tag.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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