Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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