what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

here's a joke... the american education society

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

Why? Why not?

WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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