Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops