What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

These Jokes suck.

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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