How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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hi

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops