A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

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your no better than a cockroach

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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