How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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