What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops