how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

Tunechi

Hi.

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...