knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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a man checks his mypsace

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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