Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops