How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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