Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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