Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops