What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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FUCK YOU

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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