What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Hearing that joke a million times on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops