A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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