despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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