Pickle

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/355988-gay_marriage.jpg

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Weaner

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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God is real.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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