Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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