What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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