If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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Everybody will die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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