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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Denard Robinson

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What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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