Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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haha black people :D

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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