Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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