What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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bangers and mash?

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Knock, Knock Come in

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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