Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

42

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops