What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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