How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

womens rights

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

Dane Cook makes a joke.

What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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