Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Jack Stevens

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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