Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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