What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops