What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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